What’s Going On?

These Coloradans say Earth is flat. And gravity’s a hoax. Now, they’re being persecuted.

Literal flat-earthers in Colorado:

They call themselves Flat Earthers. Because they believe Earth — the blue, majestic, spinning orb of life — is as flat as a table.

“They just do not want to talk about it for fear of reprisals or ridicule from co-workers,” says John Vnuk, the group’s founder who lives in Fort Collins.

Good. That’s exactly as it should be. They should be afraid of reprisals and ridicule for being complete fucking morons. Stupidity should hurt.

The Fort Collins group — mostly white and mostly male, college-age to septuagenarian — touts itself as the first community of Flat Earthers in the United States. …

Mostly white and mostly male: quelle surprise!

“There’s so much evidence once you set aside your preprogrammed learning and begin to look at things objectively with a critical eye,” says Bob Knodel, a Denver resident and featured guest at a recent Tuesday meeting. “You learn soon that what we’re taught is mainly propaganda.”

I think this gets to part of the appeal of a world view like this: being one of the few who is in on the Real Truth, not like the rest of the common people.

His wife, Cami, shares his views. “Our YouTube channel gets people to critically think,” she said to the Fort Collins group. “The heliocentric model says that we’re spinning at 1,038 mph. They say you won’t notice it because it’s a continual motion. But you should be able to feel it. You shouldn’t be able to function allegedly spinning that fast.”

Nearly perfect response from Cole at Balloon Juice:

A.) That’s not thinking critically.
B.) Clearly you have never been on a plane.

To which, I would add

C.) Take a goddamn physics class and listen this time.

How have we gotten to this point? What has happened that this kind of insanity persists? Why do we have to continually re-fight these intellectual battles that have been over for centuries or millennia? Why? We don’t have time for this. We have real problems to solve in this country, and do not have time to deal with this kind of shit.

Leaders want Flat Earthism to be an accessible creed for the common man, an egalitarian movement that gives life meaning by punching back at scientific disenchantment.

Ah, the old “my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge” egalitarianism.

“They want you to think you’re insignificant, a speck on the earth, a cosmic mistake,” Sargent says. “The flat earth says you are special, we are special, there is a creator, this isn’t some accident.”

Ah, the old “we are special because we’re the center” insecurity.

“It’s not about money. They want complete mind control,” Knodel says after the meeting in the lobby of the Fort Collins coffee shop. “They want to create two classes: the ultra rich and servants. At that point they would’ve taken over the world, and enslaved the population, and controlled everything.”

Ah, the old “ultra-elite mind-controlling everyone” paranoia.

Seriously, do we really have time for these people? How the hell do we fight this?

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